you know you've got me walkin' on the sidewalk

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 15:17:16 GMT

IC Friending Meme!
Now with 67% more Thane!
Pimp yourself, recommend your friends.

[meme]

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 09:15:11 GMT

Put your playlist on shuffle, and write down the first line of the first twenty songs. post the poem that results. the first line of the twenty-first is the title.

A Jaded Generation

Will I wake up–?

You'll never understand how much watching other peoples' pain gets me off.
She burns friends like a piece of wood,
I see a red door and I want it painted black.

Free lives to live. A trap beside my soul.
Set me aflame and cast me free.
Wake up–

Hey Mr. Jack,
Blood is a river,
Pit-patter, let the (rain)drops keep fallin on my window pane.

Ever since I was eight or nine
It's been a crazy time for us,
Took from me all that I had.

This is not like TV only better.
Extreme ways are back again,
I want to be a kid again,
Come on, you say, come play, come play,
I want to know how it'll end.

Cut my life into pieces.
Don't fret, precious. I'm here.

...argh.

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 14:47:52 GMT

[Locked to Torchwood]

You've hidden him away from me.

That's all right. Allies look after their allies in the face of their enemies, and it's not like we ever had any intention of being anything but. I think you've chosen the wrong side, but that's a practical concern and I get the feeling you kids aren't big on practicality. ~~Meçaije.~~ And I thought Harkness had it fucked when all he had was Little Sister.

But my point is, and if you're smart you'll have figured this out, but here it is in plain text for the idiots in your audience, and I'm sure you have a few: you don't matter to me. You're either objects in my way or means to an end. I tried to make you one, and you didn't really take to that. Now you're the other thing. I'll go through you if you're standing there to go through. Maybe you'd better reconsider where you want to stand.

How much do you intend to sacrifice for this guy? Really?

[Locked to the Vesmier]

I have it on good authority that you're the one who tried to fuck me over a while ago. I think I'm getting a feel for your handiwork. I have to say I think your friend did it better.

On the offchance that you weren't actually the thing that fell on me a few nights ago, I just wanted to drop you a line saying you're going to be first against the wall if I have my run of things. There's a special hell reserved for people who think they've got the right to fuck over people's minds and I'll see it sure you get there, my friend.

[Locked to the Doctor]

You failed.

My turn again.

[Ficcish] Try to be something experimental - you don't turn me off, I will never fail…

Sun, 19 Oct 2008 16:39:51 GMT

The thing about being a Fact is that sometimes, if it's for you, the universe is willing to cheat a little.

Well, really, there's a way of looking at it that you're one big cheat of the universe – don't age, don't get sick, don't get wounded, don't get dead, and all those people who long for immortality need a radical attitude adjustment, because Thane's only been here for a few weeks now and what has he discovered but that it sucks.

Jack knew enough to know that he didn't revive with something keeping him dead. 600+ pounds of dead weight crushing every bone and organ in his body would qualify. So Thane doesn't recognize the significance in the fact that the universe, in its stubborn insistence to keep him alive and exact to the idea it has of him, has tweaked a few probabilities here and there.

It's nothing big. Nothing catastrophic, nothing to cause a wound in the fabric of causality, but a random muscular twitch here or a little uneven effect of air resistance there and the armadillo fell just slightly askew, hind foot between Thane's legs instead of digging through the stomach, armored collar digging into the concrete next to Thane's face rather than through his face and brain. Add to that a slight residual imbalance in the way it landed and was crushed against the ground and the body atop him lists ever so slowly to one side, settling at a rate nigh-imperceptible to the naked eye, and at the end of maybe half an hour, maybe more, a few necessary centimetres are opened up for his ribcage to fix itself and John Thane comes to with blood congealing on his – everything and a mind that's been fucked to hell by two-maybe-three psychics and a sense that something's torn his world apart and left him in the exact same nowhere that he had after Boe-Shayne.

And then he starts screaming.

Maybe he hears footsteps and maybe he doesn't but after a moment fear kicks into instinct and he's squirming as best he can in the space the universe has left for him, dragging his hands together under the force that's crushing him, hitting a sequence of buttons on instinct and activating a very specific program. Teleport. Strict exclusion. He doesn't need to be taking the freakish engineered corpse with him when he goes, and oh, he goes.

Back to the rooms, first, even though seeing them is like a cut against his gut. The prisoners are gone, but to hell with the prisoners. His equipment is gone, the Doctor is gone, even Hart has managed to weasel his way out of it somehow and he teleports again, random destination, before he can look at the place any longer. No. This isn't right. Of all the ways it could have ended, ultimate victory, ultimate defeat, it chose this and this isn't an ending.

But here's the thing. It'll never end for me.

He opens up the freeform note program, the one that's been interfaced into the network command line, and scrawls something with the first thing he can find as a stylus. His hand is shaking. Everything he's wearing has been soaked with blood, his or the other thing's, and he has no idea what he's writing and by the end just shuts down the program with a send command and presses himself into a wall so he doesn't fall apart. He's not sure what he just sent off. His mind is trying to class it as a distress call and he knows that isn't right.

He can't think, that's the problem, he can't fucking think...

He needs something. He can start from there. Needs clothing, that's for sure, because this stuff is cold and cooling and sluggishly dripping and stinks to high hell of iron and adrenaline and acid from when his stomach must have split open and it's a good thing that he doesn't come back with a full stomach because used to gore he may be, but this it making him want to vomit and he has to hold against the wall to hold on.

That passes. He strips down, everything except the wrist devices, and hides the clothing in a corner. He's in something, some building, can't spare the time to identify it except that it seems new and clean except for him and he can't hear people, but maybe that's just the time of day. Too bad. They get bloodsoaked clothing when they come in.

He makes a list of places to go. The penthouse he and Hart took over is the first stop, because it might be a crime scene now but he's sure it's not guarded and it has running water and he needs a shower. Then it's a mall, doesn't matter which one, wandering through at shy of five o'clock in the morning and picking out clothing to replace the stuff he's dumped and he winds up with black work pants with plenty of pockets, with steel-toed boots and a charcoal-grey tee, and then he finds himself in a sporting goods store picking through the knives.

Nice things, knives. Hunting knives and combat knives and filleting knives and boning knives and pocket knives with too many accessories, and the rifles may not be what he's used to but he picks out a nice one there, ignores the fifty alarms going off because he'll be out of there soon, smashes the ammunition cabinet and takes what he needs, and teleports away armed and dangerous, unsteady on his feet without anything vaguely resembling a plan.

Psychics. The hell with all of them. Tearing up his mind as though they belong in there. He's not heading for Torchwood, which surprises him – he finds himself on the pier, curled around his new rifle, shivering and reflecting that he should have grabbed a coat except for some reason he shies at the thought, wondering if he should have checked up on things he needed to do to turn an off-the-shelf display rifle into a functional weapon, wondering if he cares, if he has the energy to check now or to care. If someone finds him he can just teleport away. He can keep running until a plan presents itself. That's what he did after Boe-Shayne, and there that urge to vomit is back.

He's aware, in a peripheral way, that there's something wrong with him, and it's more wrong than usual. He's not aware what that is, except that a more stable person might class him miserable, and that's a word that's lost all meaning. That's what they said since the beginning, isn't it? From the beginning straight on through, and the beginning was so very long ago.

[Locked to Torchwood]

Sun, 19 Oct 2008 16:00:17 GMT

{OOC: The following is in what's only barely recognizable as Thane's handwriting. It's ragged an uneven, lines careening toward each other or off at angles, and the scrawled letters are peppered with drops of blood.}

You interrupted something.

you know the funny thing is that you could have waiting ten minutes and you would have never had to deal with me again but you took away the person I needed to end this and now you have a problem don't you?

I have worked this a very long time and you should not have made yourselves my enemy

~~I'm going to destroy you.~~ ~~Give me ten more minutes alone with him.~~ you could have been very very safe

this is Not over.

[Fic] What does it matter how a man falls down?

Fri, 17 Oct 2008 02:15:25 GMT

At 3:47 AM Thane walks into the prisoners' room and tranqs everyone there, save one.

At 3:45 AM, there's blood on Thane's hand where he smashed it into a wall. He's beginning to get that there's something wrong here, and for a second he thinks that if he finds a window and walks out of it, he's not going to hit the ground, just keep falling.

There are plenty of chances to walk out, but when he steps into the prisoners' room he doesn't take any of them. He darts the breathers, never mind that one won't be conscious if Chicago started a parade for her and the rest are sleeping anyway, but he doesn't dart the Doctor, because he's the one who needs to see this. It breaks a long silence on Thane's part. He's been leaving them all unmolested, between fits of wanting to throw that paramedic out the hole in the wall.

What's he supposed to do to them, anyway? All of them are broken, except the ones he can't break. And he's getting tired of chasing after new ones.

There's a small bald patch on Lang's head where he shaved away the hair, sterilized the skin, and drilled down through the skull to extract a bloodclot from the surface of her brain. That clot could have killed her. Or it might not have. He took the job from the medic because of the two of them one was far more experienced working with blood and drilling, bone and damage, keeping someone alive when they shouldn't be. And it wasn't the one whose job it was to save people.

At one point – wasn't he – at one point – if he could remember–

Thane walks back out. Walks back in. Lays out all his guns, one by one, side by side in the middle of the room.

His concussion pistol is gone, which isn't a good thing as aside from the tranqs it was the only real nonlethal he had. There's the STEN dart gun, a few semiautomatics and automatics, more pistols than should really fit on a person but all of which came from Hart. Thane walks to grab his pack and lays out everything he has, the knives, skewers, corkscrew, pliers, clamps, fishing line, nails, needles, eyedropper, snips, everything, making a neat grid of the instruments for no real reason except that it seems like things should be laid out and clinical here. Everything should be laid out. He looks to the Doctor.

The Doctor looks at him. His eyes don't look broken, except for the ways in which they do – but how the fuck do you tell if you've broken a Time Lord, anyway? Maybe all of this was a miscalculation. Maybe they don't break.

...maybe Thane doesn't care any more. Calculations and clinically weighed options and he was good at this, for a long, long time, and now he can't sleep and he can't die and he can't keep himself together with two hands cuffs and staples and watching himself go through the exacting motions is a farce now if it was ever anything else. So while the Doctor is still eyeing him, still deciding what to say, Thane walks to him and drops to his knees and grabs handfuls of the Doctor's shirt and buries his face in the Doctor's stomach and then. Starts. Laughing.

The laughing wasn't intentional.

None of this is intentional any more.

The Doctor shifts, and discomfort is written in plain language in the way he can't pull away, the rattling of the cuffs that hold him to the wall, the hitch in his breathing. And how to respond to that? Thane doesn't know. One answer, a quiet You do know you're insane, right? floats in the air above him, temporal echo or auditory hallucination. Insane is the word they use when they don't understand.

"I think I was wrong," Thane admits. "This little sideshow I've put on for you. I don't think it matters to you the way it's supposed to."

And he's answered by the tightening of every muscle in the Doctor's body, a tight and trembling breath–

"It's not enough," Thane says, before the Doctor can speak. "It's not nearly enough, but I'm only human. What am I supposed to do, burn down the Earth? But this isn't your planet. You've got other places to go to for refuge." And just like that it's anger, now, not disgust, disappointment, shame – it was never exactly shame. Thane's fingers are twisting against skin, now, and his teeth are gritted, breath hissing, body trembling, and what the hell did he think he'd be able to do. Only human. Not even that, according to the Doctor. No. Seven years of hunting something he couldn't comprehend and where does that leave him but here, were all his allies turn on him, where he has all the cards and none of the advantages, and where he's only just learning that the final insult is that he can't win and he can't die.

He's left off talking for too long.

"You don't have the right," the Doctor says, voice all cold anger and worldless threat, "to come to me asking for – what is this? Absolution? Advice? I–"

"I am not asking," Thane says, looking up, "for anything."

"Then what do you want?" The Doctor pulls against the chains, and for a moment Thane thinks their expressions are mirrored. Pain hate rage, all of it thwarted, run up against something they can't be or control. The Doctor can't get out of here. Thane can't rise to match him. "What am I supposed to say to you?" the Doctor demands, like it was ever really a question, like words can be weapons and Thane would have left him with weapons. "Because I have tried to understand, to offer you another way, I have tried–" and there his voice breaks, just a little, and Thane stands up.

"I am going to break you," he says, "and if it's not like this, it will be some other way. I know lots of ways. I will find a way inside you. I will find a way to hurt you. I will do everything I can to you, and when you're on the floor bleeding and you don't have enough sense left to cry for yourself it still won't be enough and I will find your friends and start again. There are more Time Lords in Chicago."

Because if I step off a ledge, I will not stop falling. I have seven years behind me and eternity on the other end. There is nowhere for me to go.

"There is nothing I can do to you that will match what you've done to me," he says, searching the Doctor's eyes for meaning until he doesn't recognize them as eyes any more. "It'll be better for you. It'll end for you when you can't go any lower. But here's the thing. It'll never end for me."

All of that inability. That hurting and never being able to touch, that digging without getting anywhere. He thought this was a victory, capturing the Doctor. It's not a victory, is it? It's an open exhibition of what can only be defeat.

He reaches up and uncuffs one of the Doctor's hands, twining his own fingers through the Doctor's, bringing the Doctor's hand down to his lips. It's almost a benediction.

"So this is your opportunity," he says. The Doctor can't free himself, but there are... other things he can do. Contact psychic. You have the choice to condemn me to this. You can trap me here. Let me live. Or you can do what you've wanted to do since the beginning.

He brings the Doctor's hand to his hair, weaves it through, lets him feel the human heat radiating from his skull. Contact psychic. These were always the terms.

"Show me the quality of your mercy," Thane says.

[RP] Step inside, now, watch me fall and watch me float, 'cause we are changing structures…

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 16:57:05 GMT

Thane was not planning on making an emergency health recall back to home base. He was especially not planning on doing so with his skin dripping in clumps off his skeleton.

He remats in the second room, the one he's been using as a more-or-less private area first with Hart and then with April, and as soon as the cold air hits exposed nerves, he screams. He doesn't have a right hand any more so much as limb terminating in glistening bones, and the chemical, bacteria, whatever the hell it is, is advancing up his forearm. The scream cuts off in a gurgle as the stuff on his jaw eats down his neck, and he stumbles toward the next room – maybe there's a chance this falls under the whole "can't die" thing, but he's still getting used to that and it's nowhere near his mind. His mind is a bit busy with scrambling toward anything that can help him and the sheer instinctive revulsion of seeing parts of his body melting off.

In the other room, Andy's just finishing patching up whatever injuries she can find on Toshiko when she hears that scream and startles, and a moment later the great brute who kidnapped her is staggering in with half a face, not much of a right arm, and more ribs glistening than she really needed to see. She shrieks – yelps, really, as it's very short, but it also happens to be very shrill – and reaches for a gasmask she's really not carrying, then just puts herself between Toshiko and Thane with her wings out wide, because of course that will do any good at all in the face of a chemical attack.

Thane hits the ground with a splat and a splatter, the damage finally exceeding whatever threshhold counts him for dead, and just lies there. And Andy stares, mind racing furiously to determine what the hell she's supposed to do here.

She should have asked for a hazmat suit in that last batch of supplies...

[RP] 'Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind, wish somebody would tell me I'm fine…

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 13:57:45 GMT

All told, it doesn't take long between the time Thane teleported out of the construction site to the time he teleports back in, and paramedic at gunpoint with him. One Andy Mackenzie was having a perfectly normal shift until she checked one patient into the emergency room, headed back out to the ambulance, and got pushed up against a wall by a large man with a gun and then – she doesn't even know what, except that she's very abruptly not in the emergency room any more and her wings are shooting out through carefully-tailored slits in her uniform.

She breaks the guy's grip in sort order – angelic strength is no joke, and she's always been fast – but doesn't move beside that, because angels will still go down to one bullet and she didn't survive a term of duty in the Army just to be shot down on her job in Chicao. But she is mantling, which for someone topping out at a height of 5'2 is not that intimidating, and while she's keeping her attention on the guy with the gun, her situational awareness is good enough to register the fact that this is not an inviting room.

Thane wastes absolutely no time in spinning her around and shoving her toward Dmitri. "Her. Contusions, bone fractures, one gunshot wound. You're a medic, you keep her alive."

Andy looks over the person he's directed her to help, catches her breath as she sees everything – bruises, definitely a broken nose, cuffed to a wall, and the two bloody wings lying on the ground near her... never mind that the red blood raises more questions than she has answers for, but someone's beat the shit out of this girl, and her money's on the great ape behind her with the gun. And there's something that runs up hard against her training, and she turns back to him, scowling. "Why? I'm guessing so she can wake up to more of the same?"

He was warm, when he grabbed her – not hot, not a demon, and the only war she knows about in Chicago is the war between angels and demons, and she didn't think she'd ever see a scene like this outside of a war. Certainly never wanted to.

Thane steps forward, the gun in his hands held at ready. "You help her or I start killing off the rest of them," he snaps, and it's not clear to himself whether or not he's bluffing. "You want to make that decision for all of them? They'd be better off dead?"

Andy grits her teeth, looking to Toshiko, Hart, the Doctor – no one she knows, not that she'd expect it in a city this size, and she turns back. Kneels by Dmitri, feeling carefully for breathing, for a heartbeat.

"This girl doesn't need a paramedic, she needs a hospital," she says, wings mantling more. "You want–"

"Take care of her," Thane growls. "She doesn't leave this room. And you–"

Andy turns, wings fully splayed, now. "You want her to live?"

The gun is trained on Andy's forehead, and it's not moving from there. "That's the plan, yeah."

"Then you can't just grab me and point me at her," Andy snaps. "I'm not a healing angel. Look." She peels off one latex glove, laying it on the bare skin of Dmitri's neck. "Someone–" –you– "beat this girl within an inch of her life, and either you're going to take her back to a hospital, or you're going to bring a hospital to me. You don't have a lot of options."

Ordinarily, Thane would shoot someone for taking that tone with him, but these are not ordinary circumstances. He may kill her later, but right now, he needs her. "...what do you need?"

"First, I need you to get these cuffs off her," Andy says, gesturing to Dmitri's wrists.

Thane looks at her. Looks at the cuffs. Andy growls.

"What, are you afraid of her getting up and starting to kickbox? Get the cuffs off so I can lie her down. While you do that I'm going to make a list of things you better bring me – I'm going for a notepad, so don't shoot."

"I know you're not armed," Thane snaps back, shoving his gun into its holster and stepping past her to undo the cuffs. Right. The little angel decides to pick her up and run – which wouldn't be sensible anyway – he can trace them because they can't get far. Andy is scribbling furiously in her notepad, and it only takes her a few moments after Dmitri is laid down to tear off a sheet and shove it at Thane.

"That's immediately," she says. "I don't have time to list out everything I will need, so expect to make a few trips."

She's glaring. Thane is glaring. There's no question whatsoever, exactly how much they dislike each other.

Thane snatches the list, reads it over, punches the coordinates into his wrist device and is gone without a word. Andy kneels by Dmitri's side, looking her over, making sure her airway stays open, that her heart hasn't stopped beating yet. Then she takes a bit more time to look around the room, the three other people chained there, and exhales.

"...I suppose it's reasonable to assume that he took all of your keys with him," she says, then catches sight of another pair of cuffs, severed, hanging from the wall not too far from Dmitri. "...mind you if whatever cut through those is still lying around here..."

[RP] A man may be less than an animal, the devil write up the honor roll…

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:04:02 GMT

Thane slipped back April's journal during the night. He had no real use for it, and she seemed attached to the thing. he read through it, of course, because it's good to have a wider grip on the world than what's afforded him through his own. He read through Hart's, as well – not much in it – and Dmitri's – quite a lot in it, almost all of it public news reports anyway, and what little was locked had more to do with some research grant or other and various trips to various bars than anything he could use. Still, at least now he feels informed of current events....?

He's wandered back into the prisoners' room with a few things to do. One: process the new kid. Two: deal with Hart and his inevitable betrayal. Which he does first will be largely determined by who's awake just now...

[Locked to the TARDIS] Out of curiosity...

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:36:47 GMT

  |   |   
– + – + – 
  | ? |   
– + – + – 
  |   |

[Locked to 'Julian']

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:32:19 GMT

This would be reaching a Mr. Julian Sark, I presume? You come highly recommended from a little girl's journal. Oh, I gave it back, by the way, so don't you worry about any messages coming your way from that – 100% legit.

If your own words are to be believed, I think you set down some legwork for me. Which means I should thank you. She's a delightful girl once you've secured her trust, and she was more than normally willing to extend it.

But a few critical notes on your last little note:

1) It'd be best for all of you if you kept far away. I don't think you do know the risks, and I don't think you'd enjoy finding out. You just sit back and wait for the flash.

2) If you've been in my shoes all so much, you should at least have some respect for what I do. And the lengths I'm willing to go to secure that.

3) I don't think you do know what I want with her, no.

4) April! I'd been wondering about that. Strangely enough, it never occurred to me to ask.

Like I said, she's a lovely girl. I'd rather not ruin what we have going here by executing her close friend in front of her.

[RP] Every night I hone my plan, how I will get my satisfaction, how I will blow your paradise away…

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 15:04:45 GMT

It's late – or early – when Thane wanders back into the prisoners' room again, pausing just outside the doorless threshold. Hart is asleep, or at the very least docile, and Thane's been going through the Doctor's journal with a fine scan, before anyone gets the idea to retroactively lock anything against him. Psychic networks are tricky like that. Aside from the usual public nonsense, not much has been coming that journal's way.

...except that now, after he thinks he's got most of the backlogged entries down, and flipped to the beginning again...

He came over to ask some valid questions. But the prisoners are talking amongst themselves, none of them asleep even at this awkward hour, and he can't suppress a pang of curiosity. Or what he tells himself can't be a pang of jealous hurt, because he's the one in power here, and what does it matter that they can cling to each other except that it gives him one more thing to take away?

He's got someone to cling to. Or if not cling to, then fuck, and it's not like he needs anything else.

[Locked-Torchwood]

Sat, 13 Sep 2008 15:02:06 GMT

Dear Torchwood

thanks for your help, you're released from all obligations to the Time Agency and her Agents, hope I don't see you again.

ciao

[Locked-Hart]

Sat, 13 Sep 2008 04:05:02 GMT

Why do I get the feeling we're getting jerked around?

We're going to scope this building. Triplicate approach, imposed lockdown as best we can, see if someone decided to play a phase eagle into the cat and mouse.

[Locked-Hart]

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 19:03:14 GMT

How do you feel about Gary, Indiana?

[Locked-Torchwood; Readlocked-Hart]

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 16:31:35 GMT

Kids, I was really hoping that your last honcho would have schooled you in baseline-nominal progress reports. You don't want me to come see how you're doing, I don't want to come see how you're doing, so this is why you tell me things, children. Even if you have made absolutely no progress.

Here. I'll demonstrate for you.

"Agent Thane, we stopped by the Doctor's house and inquired as to his whereabouts from your freakish doppelganger, but he was unable or unwilling to give up any information."

Or maybe,

"Agent Thane, we've been reviewing the CCTV across the city for signs of the Doctor, but he hasn't been seen at any of the monitored streets or intersections."

Or even,

"Agent Thane, we're really very sorry that our door-to-door investigation hasn't produced any reliable information, but we did get this very nice scent hound and one of the Doctor's old shoes!"

Something like this. I'll be expecting one.

[Locked:Hart]

Sat, 06 Sep 2008 05:08:27 GMT

You know who's just the most adorable little puddle of worthless? Tyler's guardian angel. Bet if we snagged him without Sato noticing the teleport, it'd take them most of a day to figure he was gone.

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 06:29:31 GMT

WHAT THE FUCK

[OOC] Playlist

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 16:46:40 GMT

A – B – C – D – E – F – G – H – I – J – K – L – M – N – O – P – Q – R – S – T – U – V – W – X – Y – Z – #

– A –
Afterfire - VNV Nation

Seconds to minutes to hours to days.
Screaming for something that's something I will never hold.
All around you is tinder for the Gods.
Storms across the Battlements, the Afterfire.

Akio Car - Utena

(instrumental)

Anti-Pop - Matthew Good Band

Let's get the party started
All born to stay up late
No one gets out of this one
No one gets out of this

– B –
Backdraft - Apoptygma Berzerk

Freezing image, strobe of light, my head falls to the ground
Fighting with myself in search for life
Greedy fingers point at me, I'm on my own again
No one inside, no one to blame

Bad Boyfriend - Garbage

I wanna hear you call out my name
I wanna see you burn up in flames
Keep you on ice so I can show all my friends
C'mon baby be my bad boyfriend

Barely Legal - The Strokes

Your little problems, they're not yours they're mine
Come on listen to what I say
I've got some secrets that'll make you stay
I just want to turn you down
I just want to turn you around

Bloodsport - Sneaker Pimps

Sex and love is not a game
A game is something you can win
Maybe something kind of fun
'Cause love is just a bloodsport, son
My mother, my mother, my mother never told
My mother, my mother, my mother never told me

Bring It (Snakes On A Plane) - Cobra Starship

Oh! I'm ready for it
Come on, bring it!

Bring Me Back A Dog - IAMX

When you strike with soul and quick precision
I'm snagged by a nervous twitch and cold desire
But they say the wretched get their kingdom
Breathe on, it's my time, let's go, we all die
God, give a little love
Bring me back a dog in the next life
God, give a little love
Wanna be a dog in the next life
The trouble is me, (you)
The trouble is me, (you)

The Butterfly Collector - The Jam

And I don't care about morals
'cause the world's insane and we're all to blame anyway
And I dont feel any sorrow

– C –
Cautionary Warning - John Sykes

Well I'm talking 'bout the isolation
Complication
Aggravation
Voices inside my head
Something that you said
Well, I don't--
Something drove me to the act
But I just couldn't recollect
If it was 10 or was it 20 blows
The voice said once again,
But I don't know

Cells - The Servant

I dress myself like a charcoal sketch
My eyes are brown and my hair's a mess
They annoy me those who employ me
They could destroy me
They should enjoy me

Challenge - Final Fantasy X

(instrumental)

The Cheap And Evil Girl - Bree Sharp

Into the club for a rub in the sauna
stream through the steam, there's a shot, you're a goner
cry as you die cause you know you still want her

Chemical Disturbance - Manifest Vision

This is not like TV, only better.
This. Is. Life.
Pieces of somebody's life.

Chinese Burn - Curve

She burns friends like a piece of wood
And she's jealous of me because she never could
Hold herself up without a spine
And she'll look me up when she's doing fine
Because the rage it burns like Chinese torture

Chop Suey! - System Of A Down

Father, father! Father, father!
Father, into your hands I commend my spirit
Father, into your hands
Why have you forsaken me?
In your eyes forsaken me?

Civilization - Front Line Assembly

No turning back
the damage is done
you can't choose life
no will to run
These Islands collapsing
we burn, we rape, obliverate
our conscience heavy
we take and take...

Crazy - Gnarls Barkley

My heroes had the heart to do their lives out on a limb
And all I remember is thinking, I want to be like them
Ever since I was little, ever since I was little it looked like fun
And it's no coincidence I've come
And I can die when I'm done

– D –
The Desert Is On Fire - Murder By Death

I'll leave a trail of fire across this desert
just to see the desperation in
your eyes
you think you've suffered, well you ain't seen shit yet
the pain won't set in for a long long time

Don't Mess With Me - Temposhark

Imagine, if you will
our meet on the block
I've got time to kill, so how 'bout a quick fuck?
I've come it's been fun, but won't you please disappear
Something tells me you can't further my career
In my crown, I am king
I love their endless worshiping
I am raw, a dinosaur
I will never be extinct
Don't mess with me
I'll shoot you down
Don't mess with me
'Cause all your heads are gonna roll
I've made your misery my goal

– E –
Electronic Warfare - Apoptygma Berzerk

One life to go. You shoot before you aim.
I'm reaching for a killer tar, the only thing I claim.
Time is running out.
Suppose it's not a game?
You reload your gun.

El Matador - Los Fabulosos Cadillacs

Me dicen el matador me estan buscando
en una fría pension los estoy esperando
agazapado en lo mas oscuro de mi habitacion
fusil en mano, espero mi final
ahh Matador, ahh matador
la cana te busca matador
la cana te prende matador...

The End Has Come - Ben Moody

Now obsession rules my mind
This commotion makes me blind
Searching out who ever runs
Or has stolen away my life
But I've already said:
Don't ever back down
Don't ever turn around
My end has come
So I come for you

Every Me Every You - Placebo

In the shape of things to come.
Too much poison come undone.
Cuz theres nothing else to do,
Every me and every you.

Extreme Ways - Moby

I've seen so much in so many places
So many heartaches, so many faces
So many dirty things
You couldn't even believe
I would stand in line for this
It's always good in life for this

– F –
Fallen Leaves - Billy Talent

I never once thought, I’d ever be caught!
Staring at sidewalks, hiding my track marks!
I left my best friends, or did they just leave me?
In a crooked little town, they were lost and never found

Figlio Perduto - Sarah Brightman

E il bambino (And the boy)
Con occhi chiusi (with closed eyes,)
Lui non si muove (he doesn't move;)
Perso è già (he's already lost.)
... perso è già (...he's already lost.)

For Reasons Unknown - The Killers

I pack my case. I check my face.
I look a little bit older.
I look a little bit colder.
With one deep breath, and one big step, I move a little bit closer.

– G –
The Game - Disturbed

I kind of like the misery you put me through
Darlin' you can trust me completely
If you even try to look the other way
I think that I could kill this time
It doesn't really seem I'm getting through to you
Though I see you weeping so sweetly
I think that you might have to take another taste
A little bit of hell this time

Gangsta - Geto Boys

And all I gotta say to you
Wanna-be, gonna-be, cock-suckin', pussy-eatin' prankstas
'Cuz when the fire dies down, what the fuck you gonna do?
Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta.

Guero Canelo - Celexico

(lyrics unavailable)

– H –
Handlebars - Flobots

I can do anything with no permission
I have it all under my command
Because I can guide a missile by satellite
By satellite
By satellite
And I can hit a target through a telescope
Through a telescope
Through a telescope
And I can end the planet in a holocaust

Happy Man - Covenant

I don't love anyone
No I just want my fun
I'm a happy man
Yes I'm a happy man

Harder To Breathe - Maroon 5

How dare you say that my behavior is unacceptable
So condescending unnecessarily critical
I have the tendency of getting very physical
So watch your step cause if I do you'll need a miracle

– I –
I Am The Drug - Ed Harcourt

Once I was a shadow of a man
Most dark nights my head was in it's hands
I begged God to cure my aching limbs
But he did nothing, he gave me no advice
Didn't this God abandon Jesus Christ?
Oh if it comes to you, I'll die for your sins
I am the drug that you've been waiting for
An urgent craving you cannot ignore

I Don't Like Mondays - Tori Amos

And school's out early and soon we'll be learning
That the lesson today is how -- to -- die
And then the bullhorn cackles
And the captain tackles
With the problems and the how's and why's
And he can see no reason
'Cause there are no reason
What reason do you need to die

I Spy - Pulp

I spy a boy, I spy a girl.
I spy the worst place in the world,
In the whole wide world.
Oh you didn't do bad,
You made it out,
I'm still stuck here oh but I'll get out.
Oh yeah I'll get out.

Inertia Creeps - Massive Attack

Recollect me darling; raise me to your lips
Two undernourished egos, four rotating hips
Hold on to me tightly I'm a sliding scale
Can't endure, then you can inhale
Clearly
Out of body experience
Interferes with dreams of flying I fit nearly
Surrounds me though I get lonely
Slowly

It's Only Money, Tyrone - Marah

(All) busted and rotten,
dismembered, forgotten,
Borrowed or stolen, purchased or hot,
Broke-down and useless, rusting, disgusting
On an unwelcome comeback
Are you ready or not?
Even if you don’t want it
Even if you don’t want it
Even if you don’t want it
Hey baby, someday it comes back

– J –
John The Revelator - Depeche Mode

John the Revelator
He's a smooth operator
It's time we cut him down to size
Take him by the hand
And put him on the stand
Let us hear his alibis

Joy - VNV Nation

So why do I love when I still feel pain?
When does it end, when is my work done?
Why do I long and why do I feel
that I carry a sword through a battle field?

Just Another Day - Oingo Boingo

I had a dream last night / the world was set on fire
And everywhere I ran / there wasn't any water
The temperature increased / the sky was crimson red
The clouds turned into smoke / and everyone was dead
(but) there's a smile on my face . . . for everyone

– K –
Kiss And Swallow - IAMX

Make a list of the cunts you'd send to hell and send them
Send them on the weekend
Echo Echo, I know it's a sin to kiss and swallow
Echo Echo, a kick in the head to kill the hollow…
Are you listening?
No - In the narrowest sense
Are you listening?
I can hold you down by candlelight

– L –
Last Resort - Papa Roach

I never realized I was spread too thin
Till it was too late
And I was empty within
Hungry
Feeding on chaos
And living in sin
Downward spiral where do I begin

– M –
Map of the Problematique - Muse

Fear
And the panic in the air
I want to be free
From desolation and despair
And I feel
Like everything I sow
Is being swept away

Milkshake - Goodnight Nurse

Black is everything
Pull me right out of reality
The emptiness that's me
Black is everything
Put me right out of my misery
Do what you want to me
Life outside goes on
The world is crashing inside out
Gently hacking off the hinges
Erase the space, erase the memory
Missing time
What I don't know will never hurt me

Missing Time - MDFMK

Black is everything
Pull me right out of reality
The emptiness that's me
Black is everything
Put me right out of my misery
Do what you want to me

More - Poets of the Fall

Yeah decency, she done left our home
On her rollerskates, so I guess she's pretty far gone
Left me with my greed, to answer for my own
For how could a deadened sense tell right from wrong?
So thanks for nothing I ain't feeling the magic
Kinda comic how I got tragic

Mr. Jack - System Of A Down

Hey Mr. Jack,
Is that the trick of your disguise?
Hey Mr. Jack,
Is that the cause of your demise?

The Music Or The Misery - Fall Out Boy

Which came first, the music or the misery?
We're high-fashion, we're last chances.
I'm casually obsessed and I've forgiven death,
I am indifferent, yet (I am a total wreck)
I'm every cliche, but I simply do it best.
And if you wanna go down in history then I'm your prince,
Because they've got me in a bad way I've never seen a heart I couldn't break.

– N –
Narayan - Crispian Mills/Prodigy

If you believe the western sun is falling down on everyone
If you break it free and the mornings come
If you would now your time has come
If you believe the western sun is falling down on everyone
And you feel it burn, dont try to run
And you feel it burn, your time has come

Necromancer - Gnarls Barkley

It's naughty, very naughty necrophilia
Without a care I'm compassionate about killing her
I'd have my way with what's left of the will in her
Cosmopolitans, and cocaine, and an occasional pill in her
When she spoke I saw a spark, but it was dark so
I drove her home when she died, sexy suicide
Sweet nothings for the numb, you feel where I'm coming from?
Have no fear, everything's fine, my girl parties all the time
Did you hear what I said? With this ring I thee wed
A body in my bed, she was cool when I met her
But I think I like her better dead

Never Wanted To Dance - Mindless Self Indulgence

There is nothing you can do
that I have not already done to myself,
There is nothing you can do
that I have not already done to myself,
There is nothing you can DO
that I have not already done to myself,
No, there is nothing you can do that I have not already done to MYSELF!

News From The Front - Bad Religion

Blood is a river,
Flowing darkly amidst the tangled roots of tall shining city
Crazy flowing mantide migrations
Engorge the big ventricle of heartbroken America
So many heaven hoping, hopeful groping breathers
All tap together quietly and desperately in unison
Hey, hey, hey, is anybody listening?

No Leaf Clover - Metallica

Don't it feel right like this
All the pieces fall to his wish
Suck up for that quick reward boy
Suck up for that quick reward they said.....

– O –

– P –
The Package - A Perfect Circle

Smile and drop the cliche
'Till you think I'm listening
I take just what I came for
Then I'm out the door again
Peripheral on the package
Don't care to settle in
Time to feed the monster
I don't need another friend
Comfort is a mystery
Crawling out of my own skin
Just give me what I came for,
then I'm out the door again...

Paint It Black - The Rolling Stones

I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door and it has been painted black
Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts
Its not easy facin' up when your whole world is black

People Like Me With This Gun - Mesh

I could die and who would ever know?
I could wait but no one ever shows
But I can make you look with this gun,
So maybe I'm not like everyone…
I'm just an ordinary man
With extraordinary hands
I don't want to hear your answers
I don't have the big plan
But focus on this
And realize
That you better be paying attention
When I look in your eyes

Pet - A Perfect Circle

Swayin to the rhythm of the new world order and
Count the bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums
The boogeymen are coming
The boogeymen are coming
Keep your head down, go to sleep, to the rhythm of a war drums

Plowed (Human Wreckage) - Sponge

Say a prayer for me
I'm buried by the sound
In a world of human wreckage
I'm lost and I'm found
And I cant touch the ground
I'm plowed into the sound

Poker Face - Lady Gaga

I wanna roll with him a hard pair we will be
A little gambling is fun when you're with me I love it)
Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun
And baby when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun, fun

Preach/Pervert - KMFDM

Blackened blood that stains this bed
My sweet addiction I thee wed
You will work
I will win
I will drink in all your sin
Till gallon drunk I hit the ground

Pretty Toy - Velvet Acid Christ

You'll never understand how much watching other people's pain gets me off.
Hearing their screams and knowing that I have the power of a god.

Pretty When You Cry - VAST

i didn't want to hurt you baby
i didn't want to hurt you
i didn't want to hurt you
but you're pretty when you cry

Protege Moi - Placebo

Protect me from what I want
Protect me from what I want
Protect me from what I want
Protect me
Protect me

– Q –

– R –
The Remedy - Abandoned Pools

I could use
A shot
Your novacaine
My soul's a fuse
Blows away your name

Rocker's HiFi/Going Under (Evil Love and Insanity Mix) - Kruder & Dorfmeister

you know you've got me walkin on the sidewalk
talking, movin, lookin
stopping, fightin like a dog...
barking…
and all the raindrops keep on landing on my face like splinters...
each one branding me...
showing me who I am
(don't give a damn)

Rollergirl - Apoptygma Berzerk

Ahhhhhhhhhh.
Uhhhhhhhhhh.
Ohhhhhhhhhh...
Ahhhhhhhhhh!

Rollin' Crumblin' - Tom Rothrock

(instrumental)

– S –
Salva Mea - Faithless

I wonder what it's like to be dead,
I hope it's quiet, noise in my head like a riot,
Any remedy you have for me I'll try it.
Just below my skin I'm screaming...

Shoreline - Anna Ternheim

I'm not the boy I used to be
This town has got the youth of me
All eyes turn hollow
From the work of sorrow
Standing on the paving
By the office building
They've got so much to do
Never time for you
We are shadows

Sic Transit Gloria - Brand New

"this is the first and last time" he says.
she fakes a smile and presses her hips into his.
he keeps his hands pinned down at his sides.
he's holding back from telling her exactly what it really feels like.
he is a lamb. she is the slaughter.

Snake Song - Emmylou Harris

Ain't no mercy
In my smilin':
Only fangs and
Sweet beguiling.
Future, he don't
Try to find me;
Skin I been through
Dies behind me.
Solid hollow
Wrapped in hatred;
Not a drop of
Venom wasted…

Solitary - VNV Nation

In this picture stands a man,
far away, alone and distant.
Like a solitary field
in some nameless foreign land.
All around the points of light
start to dim and cease transmitting.
Shadows fell on futile games
and then there was nothing more.

Song of Imaginary Beings - IAMX

The phoenix says,
The devil says,
The serpent says,
The siren says,
Why use the word, when the word means the beast?
Why use the word, when the word means the beast?
(The phoenix says, the devil says)
(The serpent says, the siren says)
Oh, the pheonix says, burn for me
The Devil says, lie for me
The serpent says, beg for me
The siren says, die for me

Still Life - Covenant

the muffled beat of distant
music someone celebrates
it's hunting season urbanised I
wish I could be there
warmth and laughter the right amount of danger
Johnnie Walker wisdom as Cohen used to say
but it's pouring down with rain
do you remember?
are you alive?

Suicide Note Pt. 1 - Pantera

Would you look at me now?
Can you tell I'm a man?
With these scars on my wrists
To prove I'll try again
Try to die again, try to live through this night

Superbeast - Rob Zombie

Stir the limbs across the wrist,
Full possession of memory.
Bury me as a dog,
Icy hands surrounding me.
The ragged they come and
The ragged they kill!
You pray so hard on bloody knees.

– T –
Tear You Apart - She Wants Revenge

Or maybe this is danger and you just don't know.
You pray it all away but it continues to grow;
I want to hold you close,
Skin pressed against me tight,
Lie still, and close your eyes girl–
So lovely, it feels so right…
I want to hold you close,
Soft breath, beating heart;
As I whisper in your ear,
"I want to fucking tear you apart…"

Thanks For The Memories - Fall Out Boy

I'm gonna make you bend and break / (it sent you to me without wings)
Say a prayer, but let the good times roll
In case God doesn't show / (let the good times roll, let the good times roll)
And I want these words to make things right
But it's the wrongs that makes the words come to life
Who does he think he is / (if that's the worst you got better put your fingers back to the keys)

There's No Tomorrow - Clan Of Xymox

I wake up in the dark, there's no tomorrow,
And someone says, "We are lost."

This Is The New Shit - Marilyn Manson

Babble babble bitch bitch
Rebel rebel party party
Sex sex sex and don't forget the "violence"
Blah blah blah got your lovey-dovey sad-and-lonely
Stick your STUPID SLOGAN in:
Everybody sing,
Are you motherfuckers ready
For the new shit?
Stand up and admit,
tomorrow's never coming.

Timekiller (Philip Boa remix) - Project Pitchfork

in my heart is no place for you
and in my mind is no space for you
the exit already melted away
and now there's nothing left to say
you need a timekiller and you don't understand
I am like quicksand lick it from my hand
I am your timekiller I let your mind expand
I am like quicksand lick it from my hand

Torn Apart (Spawn Mix) - Stabbing Westward

A darkness grows inside me in fading shades of gray
All the colors of the world are slowly sucked away
I'm sinking ever deeper to a place that's cold and black
I can't believe I've lost you and you're never coming back

Transmitter (Come Together) - Front Line Assembly

So cold is the water
crouched into a ball
like fragments of illusion
we all start to fall
Lets all come together
lets all join hands
lets all march together
lets do the war dance

Tried - Assemblage 23

Like a tide recedes from rocky shores
I drew back no matter how much you implored
I fail to see the beauty here
Everything I loved has disappeared

Truth - Assemblage 23

Don't speak of truth in times like these
The concept's riddled with disease
Deny the sights your eyes have seen
This is the new reality

– U –

– V –

– W –
Want - Recoil

I want your touches to scar me so I'll know where you've been.
I want you to watch when I go down in flames.
I want a list of atrocities done in your name.
I want to reach my hand into the dark and feel what reaches back.
I want to remember when my nightmares were clearer.
I want to be there when your hot black rage rips wide open.

Why Don't You Come Over - Garbage

Oh I'm a good person
Don't wanna fight with no one
But you piss me off
You keep pushing, pushing
You'd best step off the gas, boy
All bets are off–
Fuck you!

Wish I Had An Angel - Nightwish

Deep into a dying day
I took a step outside an innocent heart
Prepare to hate me fall when I may
This night will hurt you like never before
Old loves they die hard
Old lies they die harder

Woke Up This Morning - A3

I woke up this morning
Got myself a gun,
Mama always said I'd be the
Chosen One.
One in a million
I believe I've gotta burn to shine,
I was born under a bad sign,
With a blue moon in my eyes.

– X –

– Y –
You're Gonna Go Far, Kid - The Offspring

With a thousand lies
And a good disguise
Hit ‘em right between the eyes
Hit ‘em right between the eyes
When you walk away
Nothing more to say
See the lightning in your eyes
See ‘em running for their lives
Now dance, fucker, dance
He never had a chance
And no one even knew
It was really only you

– Z –

– # –